Hello Tumblr friends, I just want to let you guys know what is going on in my life right now. Today I am moving from a place I called my home for two years. I am transferring colleges and moving back home. I have been dreading this day for a long time now. I’m so sad about moving because I’m leaving my beautiful school, Arizona State University, to go back home to cold Chicago. Don’t get me wrong, I love my city, but I’m not ready to leave the west coast. I have to leave though because of $ circumstances, and transferring will help my future for the best. I won’t have to pay college loans back for the rest of my life and thats why Im making this choice.
I have never been forced into moving. I have stayed in the same town all of my life, only leaving when I wanted too. I never have had this happen to me before. So much is out of my control. I want to close my eyes and pretend that its going to go away but its not. I’m going to be on a plane tonight and for the first time in a long time, I don’t know when I’ll be back. What scares me the most is this new, unknown, place I have to go back too after thinking I left it behind two years ago. What scares me the most is the depression I’m going to feel as soon as i step onto that plane. How sad I’m going to be as it lifts off, taking me far away from everything I loved and all the great things I accomplished. I’m scared that my life in Chicago won’t be as fun as my life in Arizona. I’m scared that I will fail. I’m scared of a lot of things.
Today is the first day I actually feel like an adult. This is growing up.